Guest post by anonymous writer via the comments section of a previous post (thank you and please keep the great comments coming!):
9. You're told that you must IMITATE, OBEY and SUBMIT to the authority of your 22 year-old church leader who barely had enough credits to graduate high school, never had a job other than his stint as a bus boy at Frosty Freeze and brags during every sermon that he has a degree from the church's unaccredited school the ICCM. Meanwhile his wife (the women's ministry leader) still reads Teen Vogue and is obsessed with taking selfies.
8. Every Good News E-Mail is inundated with pictures of Kip, Elena and other ICC Leaders traveling the globe (in style) visiting places like London, Paris, Spain, Australia, Hawaii, Chile, etc. While you're struggling to pay the rent/bills, living off of top ramen and can barely afford the gas to shuffle your 6 roommates to and from church events because you are constantly brow beaten to "sacrifice" so as to fund these vacations, ahem, I mean "missionary" trips.
7. ICC leaders convince wives that it is their "COTTON PICKIN' DUTY" to financially support their husbands (and family) so hubbies can devote all of their time and energy to Kip's church slaving away as UNPAID staff members/interns.
6. Elena McKean hasn't served a day in her life in children's ministry because "that isn't her role."
5. ICC leaders require that everyone wear their M.E.R.C.Y. t-shirts (Maximizing Efforts for Relief Care and Youth- the "supposedly" charitable arm of the church) to collect donations. Yet the money raised is not used to help the poor and needy but instead to pay for people's GLC/Jubilee registration and/or to meet the church's Special Mission's goal.
4. Five people are baptized on Sunday, four are struggling by Wednesday and one is barely faithful by Friday yet the evangelist enthusiastically claims that his region had a CRANKIN' week at the staff meeting.
3. The A.M.S. Ministry stands for Arts, Media and Sin.
2. When words like CRANKIN', EPIC and HISTORIC is used to describe E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G that Kip does right down to making himself a bologna sandwich.
1. When Kip's newly appointed WSL(s) can barely locate the books in the New Testament let alone where to find their assigned "world sector" on a map (ain't that right "Joanie B" and "Jee B"?).
Please add to the fun and contribute your own items to this list in the comments below!